The Empty Nest: Tips for Identity, Financial Checkpoints and Your Next Chapter
In this episode:
00:00 – 08:04: What Empty Nesting Looks Like in 2026
08:05 – 14:54: The Emotions of Becoming an Empty Nester
14:55 – 18:48: Identity Shifts and Finding Purpose
18:49 – 22:03: The Importance of Communication
22:04 – 27:40: Investing in Relationships
27:41 – 33:45: Updating Your Financial Plan
33:46 – 36:42: How We Help Empty Nester Clients
36:43 – 40:04: The Mindset Shift You Should Have
40:05 – 45:37: How to Guide Adult Children and Closing
In this episode, SVP Director of Consumer, Private and Small Business Banking, Al Araque sits down with SVP Private Client Services, Kathy Ciszewski and VP Private Banking, Mark Rose, who've guided clients through the empty-nest transition and lived it themselves. Together they discuss the yo-yo reality of kids leaving and coming back, the identity shift of rediscovering who you are beyond parenting and why this milestone is the perfect excuse to revisit your financial plan.
5 Key Takeaways
1. Give yourself permission to feel the transition
Emptiness and excitement can coexist. As one client put it, "I have two emotions at once” and that bittersweet mix is completely normal. It was an adjustment when you brought your baby home and it’s a different type of adjustment when you let them go.
2. Today’s empty nest is a “yo-yo,” not a clean break
Half of recent graduates move back home and even among those who don’t, a quarter still have their parents paying all their bills. Kids come and go for summers and holidays, the “semi-empty nest”, so it pays to set expectations and household rules for when adult children return.
3. Rediscover who you are beyond parenting
When your kids were your identity, their departure leaves space to ask questions about what you want next. Don’t just let work fill the gap; revisit a childhood hobby, travel, volunteer and invest in who you are and in your relationships, not just as a parent.
4. Use this milestone as a financial checkpoint
Major life transitions should trigger a review of your financial plan with your banker and advisor. Revisit retirement saving, estate documents and beneficiary choices now that you have adult children. Remember: Your financial plan is a “living, breathing document,” not a set-it-and-forget-it.
5. Support your adult children but don’t carry them
Educate them through family meetings and financial basics, impart your wisdom and let them build independence. As Kathy notes, “you want to be there to support but not to carry.”
The empty nest isn’t an ending. It’s the start of a chapter you get to design on purpose. For personalized guidance, connect with an advisor.
Frequently Asked Questions
Empty nest syndrome describes the loss of purpose and identity shift many parents feel when their last child leaves home. It's completely normal and so is feeling excited at the same time.
Start by asking what you actually want from this chapter. When your children were your identity, their departure opens real space for that question. Revisit a childhood hobby, travel, volunteer or take a class instead of letting work fill in the gaps.
There's no single right answer but you should set expectations before they move in. Agree on how long the stay will last, what they'll contribute financially, what they'll handle around the house and what the plan is for building toward independence. Clear household rules protect the relationship and keep a temporary stay from becoming an open-ended one.
Treat this milestone as a financial checkpoint. Major life transitions should trigger a full review of your plan with both your banker and your advisor. Revisit how you're saving for retirement, redirect dollars that were going toward tuition or child-related costs and confirm your saving rate still matches the retirement you actually want.
Yes. Now that your children are legal adults, your estate documents and beneficiary designations deserve a fresh look. Confirm your beneficiaries are current, review who you've named in powers of attorney and health care directives and consider whether adult children should take on any of those roles. These choices change as your family changes.
Review your plan whenever a major life transition happens and an empty nest qualifies. Marriage, a career change, an inheritance, a health event and launching your last child all reshape your priorities. Your plan should evolve with you. Working through the review with your banker and advisor together gives you one coordinated picture instead of two partial ones.
Support them but don't carry them. Ongoing bill-paying can delay the independence you're hoping they'll build, so aim for time-limited help with a clear endpoint rather than open-ended coverage.
It's worth the conversation. An advisor can help you turn a life change into concrete decisions like redirecting freed-up cash flow, revisiting retirement funding, updating estate documents and building a plan for supporting adult children without derailing your own goals.
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